What We Will Cover:
Do you ever start out the week strong in your marriage communication, but then somehow find yourself on totally different pages by the end of the week?
Even if you do a marriage meetup on the weekend (like we have talked about in previous blogs), it's quite possible that throughout the week, some of the things you discussed in your marriage meeting get lost in the hustle and bustle of life.
That's why I am going to propose something which may feel like "more work" in the beginning, but it could drastically improve your marriage.
(And it’s really not that much more work).
I'm sure you have already guessed it by the title of this blog… my proposal is:
Mid-week check-ins.
An Example of What a Mid-Week Check-In Could Look Like
Now hear me... I'm not talking about a super well-thought-out, in-depth marriage meeting.
I'm just talking about a simple 10-15 minute check-in to get ya'll back on the same page.
I'll be the first to say that my husband and I do not have this mastered.
But here is what a mid-week check-in has looked like for us:
Last week, Alex and I had a short meetup on Sunday.
We discussed things like: Our schedule, what’s going well in our lives, and some things that have been bothering us.
When it comes to our schedule, we forgot to mention a few events that were coming up and could potentially throw a wrench into our new plans.
Thankfully, I heard about this mid-week check-in idea quite a while ago (can't remember where), and it has been sitting in the back of my mind.
When I started to remember things which we neglected to talk about in our last meetup, my mind served me well by saying: "You need a mid-week check-in!
(I think occasionally, we have had mid-week check-ins over the years, but it has never been a routine for us until recently).
So on this particular Tuesday, I said to my husband, "Hey, we forgot to mention some things in our last meetup. Can we have a check-in by tomorrow night to talk about what's coming up this weekend?"
The Purpose of Our Mid-Week Check-In
Now here's why our mid-week check-in was so important...
Alex and I completely forgot to talk about an event that he had coming up, and he wasn't 100% sure that he was going. This event was 4 hours away and would mean that he'd be gone potentially for two days.
I had some things that I wanted to do during that time too, but hadn't communicated that to him yet.
Thankfully, during our mid-week check-in, we were able to talk about ways that he could go to his event, and I could get done what I needed to get done too.
Not only that, but we were able to talk about a few other things that were bothering us and come to a solution.
Would you believe me if I said we were able to discuss all of this and have a little heart-to-heart in only 15 minutes?
Thank goodness for our mid-week check-in!
Benefits of a Mid-Week Check-In
I'm sure you can imagine by the example above that there was a decrease in anxiety and an increase in closeness with my spouse just from this simple 15 minute check-in.
Now I'm not saying that every check-in is going to lead you to feel more intimate with your spouse. But I do think that over time, these check-ins will lead to more intimacy as you get back on the same page and have more heart-to-heart conversations.
(It doesn't have to be a heart-to-heart conversation every time, but if it turns into that... hey, what's the damage?)
George Bernard Shaw says:
"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."
How many of us are guilty of this, just because we don't have a simple mid-week practice to help us communicate?
You may do a mid-week check-in and only have time for one topic like: What's coming up in your schedule, or what's been on your mind lately, or my favorite question - How are you, really?
But wouldn't even a little communication be better than none at all?
Questions to Consider
So what could you benefit from a mid-week check-in?
Could it help you get back on the same page with your spouse?
Could it help you talk about plans that have fallen through the cracks?
Could it help you have more heart-to-heart conversations?
If your answer to any of these questions is "yes," I dare you to give it a try!
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